proposal update

I've been thinking -- the more research I do about the baseball and music topic, the more I realize how woefully unprepared I am to submit a proposal for a December 2nd deadline.  I know that proposals are submitted all the time without a paper already prepared, but I haven't even centered in on exactly what I want to do with this topic.  I've decided that I'm still going to gather as many materials as I can and research my butt off until I've come up with a concise topic and unique angle.  The thought of making a total fool of myself because I'm not as prepared (or confident) as I could/should/(will eventually) be on this topic is not appealing.  I've decided not to submit a proposal this time around and hopefully within a reasonable amount of time (vague..on purpose..) I can do it the right way.

The stress involved has also gotten physical.  The severe pain in my back, shoulders and neck is a direct embodiment of the anxiety I'm experiencing over this.  (deep breaths...)